


So Far, So Good

by gas_on_my_hands



Category: All Time Low, Bandom, Black Veil Brides, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Supernatural, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comic-Con, F/M, Falling In Love, Family, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-19
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-08-09 16:08:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7808389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gas_on_my_hands/pseuds/gas_on_my_hands
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard Way wonders if maybe miracles do come true when at a comic con he meets Frank Iero, the character from Gerard's comic book he has been drawing obsessively for the past two years. Whether Gerard caused Frank to exist or Frank has simply forgotten his past, it feels like a miracle to good to be true when Frank starts to fall for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One (for lack of a better title)

**Author's Note:**

> hey frens! this is my first real fic, hope you enjoy! comments are much appreciated <3

Gerard carefully placed the customer’s book into the plastic bag and wished her a good day. He sighed quietly and called, “next.” 

A group of three boys, likely in their early to mid twenties, same as Gerard, walked up to the counter. The boy with black square glasses and a smile brighter than the Los Angeles sun outside caught Gerard’s eye. “Hey!” He said brightly. One of the other boys was scowling; it looked like his face was made for scowling. 

“Hi.” Said Gerard. The boy with the glasses was bouncing up and down excitedly as he handed Gerard a comic book. Despite his sour mood, Gerard grinned a little. “Daredevil. Nice.” Gerard loved comic books. He had always loved illustrating comic books, but he knew that his weren’t really that good and it was pointless to think that they were. Whenever Gerard had sent his work to publishers it had been time after time turned down. 

“It’s one of my favorites!” The glasses boy answered excitedly. The scowling boy seemed to frown even more and the other boy was watching the scowling boy with admiration in his eye; it was obvious that he was in love. Gerard took the smiling boy’s credit card, swiped, put the comic book in a bag, before handing it back to the boy who grinned like it was Christmas. “Thank you so much!” He exclaimed and exited the bookstore practically running.

“Slow down, Brendon!” He heard the scowling boy exclaim as they left.

Gerard frowned even more. He wished he could be as happy as that smiling boy, Brendon. He wished he could be in love like the scowling boy and the other kid. God why did it seem like everyone was happy and in love besides Gerard. It wasn’t that Gerard didn’t like love, it was the opposite, Gerard Way was a total romanticist. He cried every single time he watched Titanic, which his brother Mikey constantly rubbed in. Gerard just got mad at other people for being in love; it was totally irrational, but Gerard was jealous. It wasn’t like Gerard didn’t have a boyfriend. He did have a boyfriend, a very hot boyfriend. Very hot. But to Gerard, his boyfriend was more like his best friend. 

Gerard continued to assist customers for the next two hours, until he checked his phone and saw that it was ten. Gerard hadn’t had a customer for the past half hour so he decided to close down the store. “Here, you guys can leave. I’ll close up.” He told Alex and Jack. 

“You sure?” Asked Alex, yawning.

“Yep,” Gerard affirmed. Jack and Alex looked exhausted, they could probably use the sleep more than he could. Plus, closing was a nice excuse to delay going back to the apartment. 

“Thanks, Gee, see you,” Jack said, grabbing Alex’s hand. The couple walked out of the bookstore, smiling tiredly. 

Gerard started cleaning up the books scattered around the store. He re-shelved the copy of Fancy Nancy that a five year old had carelessly discarded on the ground, pausing to consider bringing it home with him to Mikey just to see his reaction. Gerard picked up a book about baby unicorns and smiled, thinking that Mikey would probably enjoy reading it; he liked anything with unicorns. Maybe the book would make him stay a little longer. 

Gerard frowned, thinking about what he would have to say to his brother later that night before continued picking up more novels, singing as he cleaned. “It’s like I’m fucking Cinderella,” he said to himself, chuckling a little. Gerard loved singing; it helped him relax. 

As Gerard was singing, he heard a sound. Almost like a book dropping. Gerard walked down the aisle of books to investigate he could’ve sworn that as he turned the corner, he saw a young man’s face. Gerard thought it was a pretty face, but he could not describe it. Gerard turned to point to the closed sign to explain to him that the store was closed, but when Gerard turned around, the young man was gone. The man had disappeared too quickly for Gerard to be certain about the man’s features. He felt a strange longing to know who’s face it was. 

Gerard, a little frightened, searched the store, calling for the person, but the store appeared to be empty besides him. Gerard was shaken, but convinced himself that he must have just imagined the whole thing. About an hour later, he finished cleaning the rest of the store, and sighed as he locked the door and headed to his car; he had mostly forgotten about the incident. 

The mall parking lot was barren, only a handful of cars remained. Gerard turned on the radio as he started up his car. He hated driving in silence, it allowed him to think about things he didn’t want to allow himself to think about. One of Gerard’s favorite songs was playing on the radio, Jack and Dianne. He turned up the volume and sang along. Gerard loved the song; the tune was upbeat and yet the lyrics still got to him every time.

The mall where Gerard worked was about twenty minutes from the apartment, which Gerard appreciated because it meant he could get back to the apartment quickly if anything ever happened to Mikey. Gerard pulled his car in front of the apartment building. He paused in front of the elevator before deciding to take the stairs instead. It was probably a good decision because the elevator was ancient and no one really knew how much longer it would last.

Gerard braced himself for another fight as he unlocked the apartment door. He hated arguing with people, especially Mikey, but he was doing it for his brother’s sake. Gerard wondered if he should call Andy to wish him good night, but as he pulled open the door he saw that there was no need; Andy was already at the apartment. He sat on a beanbag in front of the TV, next to Mikey. Gerard sighed both in relief and frustration. Most of the time Gerard loved it when Andy came over, Andy tended to make everything seem okay. But this time Gerard was annoyed because he knew Mikey had invited Andy as to distract Gerard from talking to him.

“Hey,” Gerard said to Andy walking over to where Andy was sitting and giving him a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. 

“Hey, Gee! I hope it’s alright that I’m here. Mikey said that he was going to watch Supernatural without me if I didn’t come, and I needed to find out what happened to Dean next,” he said. “He’s so fucking adorable.”

“Excuse you,” Mikey said, punching Andy’s shoulder, “Sam is way hotter. I mean, have you seen the dude’s hair?”

Gerard couldn’t help rolling his eyes. “Of course it’s okay you came, Andy. You can come over whenever, you know that,” Gerard said, sincere. He loved being with Andy, Andy was his best friend, and boyfriend. He just didn’t like it when his brother tried to avoid talking to him. 

“Mikey, we need to talk.” Gerard said.

“But Andy is here!” Mikey whined. 

“I can leave,” Andy said quickly, sensing Gerard’s annoyance, “really it’s no trouble. I have band practice tomorrow anyways.” 

Gerard sighed as Andy kissed him quickly and headed out the door. “I’ll call you tomorrow,” he shouted to Andy. Gerard also needed to have a difficult conversation with him.

After Andy left, Mikey excused himself to the bathroom.

“You can’t just avoid me forever! I’m your fucking brother!” Gerard yelled after him.

“And I have to fucking go pee!” 

Gerard tried to calm himself down. He just needed to calmly convince Mikey to stay. He knew that getting angry wouldn’t make Mikey stay, it would just make him pissed. 

Mikey came back and threw himself on the beanbag. “I know you want to talk, so talk. But you’re not going to change my mind.”

Gerard sighed and tried his best not to get upset. “I don’t think you should move. It’s stupid Mikey, it’s fucking stupid. You have your life here, you have a good job. Don’t fucking lose it over moving to go live with someone you don’t even know!” 

Mikey snorted angrily. “I knew you would say that excuse. Gerard, I know Ray, okay? It doesn’t matter that I met him online. He’s the most important person in my life. He gave me purpose. I don’t see why you can’t fucking suck it up and let me live with him.”

“You don’t know him!” 

“Gee,” Mikey said firmly, “I know him better than I know myself.” Mikey took a deep breath, “I think I know what this is really about. You’re afraid of being alone.”

Gerard spluttered angrily, “I’m not fucking alone, Mikey! I have Andy!”

“Then let me go!” 

Gerard shook his head. He hated to argue with his brother. He loved Mikey so fucking much, and just wanted what was best for him. It was too dangerous for Mikey to leave. What if something went wrong? What if Mikey did something he’d regret? Gerard wouldn’t be twenty minutes away to save him this time. 

“Gerard, I’ll be okay.” Mikey said, reading his brother’s expression carefully, “I’ve been clean for almost two years now. And I’ll be with the person who loves me more than anything.”

“I love you, Mikey.”

“I know Gee, I know.” Mikey pulled Gerard down onto the beanbag with him and gripped him in a tight embrace. Gerard started to cry, as he realized that he would have to let his brother go. “Hey. It’s okay,” Mikey promised. “It will be okay.”

Gerard nodded, wiping away tears. He had to trust Mikey now; Mikey was grown up, he wasn’t a scared seven year old any more. He didn’t need protecting. 

Mikey sighed and smiled. Gerard hadn’t seen Mikey smile in a long time, and in that moment he knew that he had made the right decision, even if it hurt. 

“You want to finish the episode, Gee? Sam’s drinking demon blood, and it’s so fucking hot!”

Gerard chuckled, “you’re going to make Ray jealous if you keep talking like that.”

Mikey laughed, hitting Gerard with a pillow. “Shut up.”

After the episode had ended and the brothers had cleaned up, (Mikey had gotten drool and popcorn all over the beanbag, Gerard was disgusted) Mikey left Gerard to call Ray and tell him the good news.

Gerard lay down on the beanbag, most of the drool had been cleaned up, and thought for a long time. He would miss Mikey. He would miss Mikey so fucking much. He wished he had agree to let Mikey go a long time ago so that they could have more time together, having fun, watching Supernatural, and laughing. Gerard was happy for Mikey, incredibly happy. He had talked to Ray before, he trusted Ray, he was a great guy. Mikey would be happy with Ray, Gerard knew that, and maybe if Mikey was happy, Gerard could be happy.

The thing was, Mikey was wrong. Gerard would be alone. He knew that. Andy wasn’t going to be around much longer, that was a ship ready to crash. Gerard was so fucking jealous of Mikey; there was nothing more Gerard wanted more than to have someone who would love him. Andy loved Gerard, he knew that, but Gerard also knew the way Andy looked at Juliet, from the record store, was different than the way he looked at Gerard. Gerard wondered if anyone could ever love him. He was starting to doubt it. 

Gerard couldn’t sleep that night, so instead he stayed up drawing a disappearing face that he couldn’t seem to place.


	2. So Long And Goodnight (you have a whipped cream mustache, Gerard)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoy!
> 
> comments are much, much appreciated! <3 
> 
> hang in there, I promise frerard action is coming ;)

Gerard woke up with his hand resting on the pen he had been drawing with last night. He looked down at his drawings and saw multiple sketches of the same face. Gerard wasn’t sure who the face belonged to, he wasn’t sure if he had seen the person before, or if the character was simply a figment of his imagination. If he had seen the person he had drawn, it had to have been a brief encounter because Gerard couldn’t seem to place the face. The face was probably average to the rest of the world, but to Gerard, it was beautiful. The character Gerard had drawn was a young man with prominent cheek bones, eyes that were a beautiful combination of grey and brown, and long dark hair that framed his face perfectly. 

Gerard couldn’t remember when he fell asleep, but he was still exhausted. He tried to sit up but fell back over onto his back with a loud thud. Gerard sighed and closed his tired eyes, promising himself he would wake up after five minutes. He just needed another five minutes. 

Nearly two hours later, Gerard woke to cold water being poured onto his face. “What the fuck, Mikey?!” He exclaimed angrily. 

“Wake up sleepyhead!” Mikey said enthusiastically. 

Gerard had forgotten how energetic Mikey could be when he wasn’t sulking. “I wanna go back to sleep,” Gerard winned. 

Mikey rolled his eyes and pulled his brother’s arm, forcing him to get up. “What’s this?” Mikey asked, seeing Gerard’s drawings. 

“Umm. Nothing.” Gerard said quickly, trying to pull the drawings from his brother’s grasp. Gerard normally loved sharing his drawings with Mikey; his drawings were one of the few things he was proud of. 

“Is this your character for your new comic?” Asked Mikey excitedly, his glasses sliding down his nose. 

“Uh, yes,” Gerard said, thinking quickly. He looked at the drawing. “His name is Frank.” The name seemed the suit the character.

“Cool! I’m excited to see your comic when you’ve finished!” 

Gerard sighed, there really wasn’t anything he would have wanted to do less. While Gerard really did appreciate his brother’s enthusiasm, he didn’t want to make a comic about Frank. In a weird way, Gerard realized he wanted Frank to be just his. 

“God, you really need to decorate your room,” Mikey said, staring in disbelief at Gerard’s room. 

Gerard shrugged. He liked his room. It was small, mostly black, and had a large stack of records and comic books on a desk. His room was way better than Mikeys. Mikey’s room had fucking stuffed unicorns. Gerard rolled his eyes. Even though his brother was only four years younger than him at 20, Mikey still had the maturity of a five year old. 

“Come on Gee, let’s go get breakfast, let’s go to IHOP!”

“We have food here, we don’t need to go out.”

“Please, Gee,” Mikey pleaded, doing his biggest puppy eyes. Gerard relented.

“Okay, fine. But I want a fucking huge stack of pancakes.”

“You’ve got it,” Mikey promised. 

Gerard grabbed his wallet and headed out the door. Mikey grinned and followed his older brother happily. 

By the time the two brothers got to IHOP, both were starving.

“Yes, I’ll grab the kid’s menu for you,” Mikey told Gerard, knowing that his brother would want the Funny Face pancakes from the kid’s menu, but would be too embarrassed to order it for himself. Gerard was a freak like that; he loved the whipped cream and chocolate chips. 

“Thanks, Mikey, you’re the best,” Gerard said, offering a cheeky smile.

Mikey ordered Gerard his Funny Face pancakes and ordered some bacon and eggs for himself. The brothers sat down at a booth near the window. Mikey looked at his older brother. Gerard was looking worn, but then again, he always looked tired. He needed more sleep. Mikey loved Gerard more than anything else, except maybe Ray. He felt shitty for leaving Gerard, but he knew that he had to go, for his own sake. But if Gerard needed anything, anything at all, Mikey would return immediately.

“So,” said Gerard, with a small frown that only someone who really knew Gerard would notice. “When are you going to, you know…” He trailed off.

“Leave?” Asked Mikey softly. Gerard flinched a little. “Well,” he said carefully, “Ray asked if I could come in a week. If you need more time, I’m happy to stay.”

“No, it’s fine,” Gerard said quickly. 

“You sure?”

“Definitely. Mikey, I know that it took me a while to realize, but I’m really, really happy for you. Ray’s a great guy and he’s lucky to have you. I’ll miss you, of course, but you’re a grown up now.” 

Mikey looked at his brother in surprise, “thank you, Gee. I really appreciate that.”

A young, pretty, waitress carried out Gerard and Mikey’s food. She raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow when she saw the two men. “Who ordered the funny face?” She asked in amusement.

“Here,” Gerard muttered, a blush quickly spreading across his pale face. The waitress chuckled a little and placed the food in front of the boys, winking at Gerard before leaving. Gerard’s face turned an even brighter shade of red. 

Mikey poked Gerard. “I think she’s willing to make funny faces for you after closing hours.” 

Gerard grimaced. 

“That’s what you get for ordering off of the kids menu,” Mikey chuckled. 

Gerard punched Mikey’s shoulder. 

“Ouch!” Mikey adjusted his glasses and glared at Gerard. “You’ve got a whipped cream mustache by the way.”

Gerard immediately grabbed a napkin and wiped his face. “So,” Gerard teased, determined to get back at his brother, “what’s the first thing you’re going do when you see Ray?” 

“We’re going to run to the nearest bathroom and Ray’s gonna-”

“Scratch that. I really don’t want to know. Please don’t tell me.” Gerard interrupted. 

“Fine,” Mikey said, “let’s talk about you. How’s Andy?” He said, nudging Gerard’s side meaningfully, and raising his eyebrows up and down. He stopped when he saw Gerard’s expression. “What’s wrong?” Mikey asked with a small frown. He hated to see Gerard upset. 

“Let’s just say we’re not exactly at the best place right now.”

“Do I have someone to beat up?” Mikey asked, immediately protective of his brother. 

Gerard shook his head. Even if had wanted Mikey to beat someone up, he knew that despite Mikey’s threats, he could never actually hurt a fly. “Andy and I are going to breakup.” Gerard sighed when he saw Mikey’s expression. He knew Mikey loved Andy as well. “Neither of us really love each other anymore, if we ever did to begin with. Andy likes this girl who works at the record store too, her name is Juliet. You know her? I don’t know if she works the same shifts as you.”

Mikey nodded in acknowledgement. “Yeah, I know her.”

“Yeah. So I’m going to end it. We need to end it. I think Andy is too afraid to but he loves.”

“You deserve to be loved too,” Mikey protested.

Gerard shook his head. “I don’t love Andy. I may have at some point, but I don’t love him the same way I did before. Andy’s a great guy. He’s a great friend, and I hope we stay friends, but I doubt that it will work out.” 

Mikey sighed and leaned over the table to give his brother a tight hug. “I won’t leave if you’re not okay. Just tell me and I’ll stay.”

“No!” Gerard said immediately. “I’m okay, I promise. I’m going to talk to Andy tonight, I’m going to end it.”

“Okay.” Mikey said. “It’s really kind of you to do that for him.”

“I love him,” Gerard said simply. “He’s one of my closest friends, and I really hope we’ll still be friends, but I’d understand if he needed his space.”

Mikey nodded. He paused before saying, “you’ve got a whipped cream mustache again.”

Gerard wiped furiously, but only spread the whipped cream. “Dammit. I’m never ordering off the kid’s menu again.”

After the brothers finished eating breakfast, Mikey headed to the record shop and Gerard went to the bookstore. 

Gerard called Andy and asked him to meet Gerard at the apartment to talk. Work seemed to go faster than usual and Gerard longed for the time to slow down. He was terrified of breaking up with Andy and losing his best friend. With Mikey already leaving, Gerard didn’t know how many more people he could lose without losing himself completely. Gerard offered to close up the shop again, which Alex and Jack agreed happily to. 

By the time Gerard had gotten back to the apartment it was nearly twelve. Gerard felt bad for making Andy wait, but Gerard couldn’t help that he was a masterful procrastinator; Mikey often compared him to Dan Howell. Gerard considered picking up doughnuts or bagels for Andy but decided against it; Andy didn’t eat much. Whenever they had gone on dates, Andy would always pick out the weirdest shit. One time Gerard thought he had seen Andy eating paper. He was still confused about that. 

Gerard took a deep breath and unlocked the apartment door, expecting to see Andy sitting on the beanbag like he always was. This time Andy was standing up, pacing. He seemed nervous. “Hey, Gee,” he said immediately.

“Hey, Andy.” Gerard placed his work bag onto the kitchen table. 

“I’m glad you called,” Andy said. “I need to talk to you as well.”

“Okay." Gerard swallowed nervously before continuing, “Andy, I love you, you know that. But we need to break up. I don’t think either of us really love each other romantically anymore.”

Andy released a breath of air he had apparently been holding, and exclaimed, “oh thank god! I was worried you were going to propose!”

Gerard spluttered. “God no!”

The two laughed and Gerard couldn’t have been more relieved. “Come here, Gee,” Andy said. Gerard looked confused. “Don’t worry you little fucker, I’m not going to kiss you.” Andy rolled his eyes. Gerard blushed a little and Andy raised an eyebrow. “Unless you want to? You’re the one who broke up with me,” Andy laughed. Gerard shook his head and leaned in for a hug.

Andy looked like a scary guy, but he gave the best hugs. Gerard would miss his hugs. “I’ll miss you.” Gerard whispered.

“No you won’t. I’m not going anywhere. You’re my best friend, Gee, I’m not leaving you.”

“Thank god for that.”

The two friends hugged each other for another long moment before Gerard broke away. “So, you want to watch some Star Wars? We can’t watch Supernatural without Mikey. He would probably kill us.” 

Andy laughed and the two sat down on the beanbag.

 

The rest of the week went by fast and once again Gerard found himself wishing for time to slow down. Sunday came and Gerard was driving Mikey to the airport. Mikey had been talking to Ray for the majority of the drive and Gerard had pretended to listen to the radio while secretly trying to hear his brother’s conversation. As the week had progressed, Mikey had become more and more energetic and Gerard had become more grumpy. Gerard had tried calling Andy several times but he hadn’t picked up. Gerard didn’t leave any voice mails. He tried to tell himself that Andy was busy but Gerard had always been a pessimist. 

Gerard had only been to the airport several times in his life, and as he went through the painfully long LAX security line with his brother, he was grateful for this. As they waited for Mikey’s plane to arrive the brother’s discussed everything that didn’t have to do with Mikey leaving. They somehow managed to have a thirty minute long conversation about Sam Winchester’s hair, then Mikey talked for ten minutes about how Gerard needed a haircut, then Gerard argued for another ten minutes about how Mikey needed spend less time on the internet watching Dan and Phil. They even discussed the pros and cons of macaroni noodles versus flat noodles because of an ad. Neither Gerard or Mikey knew how to cook anything besides toast and the occasional cup of noodles. 

Gerard looked at his watch as they sat in front of Mikey’s terminal and realized his little brother would be leaving in five minutes. Gerard took a deep breath and tried to smile for his brother’s sake. “Come here, give your bro a hug.”

“Please never say that again,” Mikey groaned, but he leaned in and hugged his brother tightly. “I’m going to miss you so much,” Mikey said, pulling away. 

Gerard started to tear up. Mikey, knowing that his brother tended to get very emotional, had brought a tissue box. “Thanks, Mikey.” Gerard managed to get out.

“You’re going to be okay. I’m only going to be gone for two months and I’ll come back right away if you need me to. I’m excited to come back and see your comic book! What’s it about again? Fred?”

“Oh yeah,” Gerard said, suddenly remembering. “Frank. It’s about Frank.” Gerard wiped away his tears. He would save them for when he got back to the apartment. “Give Ray my best, okay?”

“Sure thing.” Mikey smiled at the thought of seeing Ray before becoming serious again. “Promise me you won’t do anything you’ll regret, Gee.”

“Of course Mikey. I wouldn’t do that to you again.” 

“Good.” 

There was a moment of silence before Gerard broke it by awkwardly laughing and winking at Mikey. “Promise me you’ll use condoms.”

Mikey winked back, also laughing. Then, it was time for him to board. “I love you, Gee.” The brothers embraced again and Gerard waved to Mikey as he boarded the airplane. 

Gerard sat down on a chair at Mikey’s gate and waited until he saw for himself that Mikey’s plane had left safely. When Gerard could no longer see the plane he sighed and slowly walked out of the airport. He hoped seeing Ray in person was everything Mikey hoped for. Gerard remembered when he first heard about Ray; Mikey had gone to the bathroom during dinner and of course Gerard grabbed his phone trying to find something to tease his little brother about. “Who’s Ray?” Gerard asked his brother, in a flirty voice. 

Mikey blushed a deep shade of red. “Nobody,” he muttered.

“Doesn’t seem like it,” Gerard said, smiling.

“He’s just a friend. He doesn’t even live in L.A, he lives in Orlando. We bonded over music.” Mikey said quickly then changed the topic of conversation to work. Throughout the two years when Gerard had first learned about Ray, Mikey continued to open up about their relationship. Gerard had talked to Ray on Mikey’s phone several times to determine if he was suitable for Mikey; no one was ever actually good enough, but Ray came pretty damn close.

Gerard almost half-smiled as he drove back to the apartment.


	3. Gerard is in a Alley (sadly not with Frank)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bad stuff happens to Gee uh oh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter took forever! it was getting really long so i decided to split it up so i could post this. the good news is that this means that chapter 4 is halfway done! hang in there, frerard should be coming next chapter :))
> 
> many, many thanks to my AMAZING friend Mena! without you, your edits, and your positivity none of this would have happened :)  
> also thank you to Wolf Worthington and sageoftheland for all their encouragement, you guys are the sweetest <3

Gerard stared at his coffee idly. He’d been coming to the coffee shop, Coffee’s for Closers, so often over the course of the past week that all of the workers knew what Gerard liked to order. Gerard liked the coffee shop. There was a cute cashier named Dave who flirted with Gerard. He wasn’t exactly Gerard’s type; Dave had long blond hair and was pretty tall, while Gerard prefered shorter guys with darker hair. Dave had just started working at Coffee’s for Closers the week that Gerard started going. Plus going to the coffee shop gave Gerard an excuse to not be stuck in the apartment by himself. It was too empty and quiet without Mikey blasting his music and Andy bickering. Gerard was lonely. Andy hadn’t returned any of the numerous calls that Gerard had left him. Mikey had talked to Gerard, but it had mostly been short talks; Mikey was either too excited to be with Ray to talk for long, or he was having sex with Ray when Gerard called, and Gerard definitely did not need to hear that.

Mikey had advised Gerard to not let himself be lonely, to hang out with friends, maybe hook up with someone. Gerard tried to think who he could hang out with. Andy didn’t seem too keen to talk with Gerard. Gerard tried to think of other friends he had and realized that the friends he did have, he hadn’t talked to in years. He could count the number of friends he had with one hand. “Well that’s fucking depressing,” Gerard muttered under his breath, taking a long sip of coffee and staring across at the store counter in thought. Dave winked at him and Gerard blushed, taking another sip of coffee to hide the red spreading across his face.

 

Gerard didn’t think of himself as a very attractive person. He didn’t like his face, but Gerard was okay with not liking his face. It was his fucking face. He just needed someone else to like it, which he had pretty much given up on. He hadn’t found real love in his twenty four years, and he figured that if he hadn’t found it in that much time, he probably never would. But that didn’t make being lonely any easier. Gerard longed for someone to prove him wrong as he downed the rest of his coffee and headed out to the park across the street. 

 

It was a small, pretty park, with several trees surrounding a dark red playground. The trees looked worn and dried out in the California sun, yet many kids were still scampering along their branches. There were children everywhere, crawling on benches, swings, and everything in between. Gerard smiled; he loved kids and wanted to be a dad one day. Gerard rolled his eyes as he realized that Mikey would never stop making fun of him if Gerard told him he wanted kids. 

 

Gerard sat down on one of the matching red benches next to the playground. Gerard didn’t go outside often and was extremely pale. Mikey liked to joke that Gerard looked like a vampire. A mother with bright, blond hair scooted noticeably away from Gerard. Gerard realized he probably looked suspicious, sitting next to a playground without a kid, looking like he hadn’t taken a shower in a week. Which he hadn’t. Gerard hated showers, but he was starting to feel a little gross and decided he should take a shower later. Gerard took out a piece of cinnamon gum and started to chew. He was addicted to the stuff; it was sweet but not overwhelmingly so. Gerard checked his watch and saw that he still had two hours before work, so he pulled out his sketchbook and decided to draw the playground. The mother scooted even further away, probably thinking that Gerard was drawing his next kidnapping victim. 

 

Gerard tried to focus on drawing for the next few minutes but quickly got bored of drawing the park, and without really thinking, he started to sketch Frank’s face. Gerard looked down at the page, almost startled by what he had drawn. Gerard continued to sketch Frank, filling in the details he had missed before before; creating Frank’s small but beautiful body. Frank was undoubtedly Gerard’s favorite character he had ever created. He wasn’t perfect by any means, but Gerard knew he, without doubt, would have been in love with Frank if he was real. 

 

After drawing Frank, Gerard realized that he still had to come up with a storyline for his character. Gerard sat on the park bench trying to think of what Frank would do but couldn’t think of any good ideas. No, Frank wouldn’t be a superhero who delivered free ice cream to people who wanted it (Gerard). He wouldn’t battle the villains and crooks in a town. Gerard wanted Frank to be original, not just an ordinary superhero. 

 

Gerard sighed, looking at his watch and realizing that he had to head to work. Maybe he would come up with a plot for Frank at work. 

 

But Gerard didn’t think of any ideas at work, and Gerard’s shift seemed to go even slower than usual. There was a release of a new book, and the store was more crowded than usual. By the time his shift was over Gerard was exhausted and longed to go back to the apartment. However, before he could ask someone else to close down the store, both Alex and Jack had already left without asking Gerard if he needed help. Gerard released a half shout, half sigh in frustration. Just because he did something nice for someone a few times didn’t mean he was going to do it for the rest of his life, and he was annoyed that Alex and Jack expected he wouldn’t have anything better to do with his time. Gerard told himself he would yell at them the next day but knew that he probably wouldn’t. Gerard was a kind person by nature and hated arguing with others. 

 

The problem was that it seemed to Gerard that he was the only person trying to be helpful. Maybe if other people tried to be kinder, it would be easier. Whenever someone needed to talk, Gerard would be the first person they called, even if they weren’t really that close. Gerard loved helping people, but he needed help too, and he never seemed to be able to find someone to help him out when he was battling his own demons. 

 

Gerard slowly started to grin, a wide smile spreading across his pale face. He knew exactly what kind of superhero Frank would be. Frank would help others defeat their own demons. It was the perfect idea. Frank just might be the key to both Gerard’s comic book success as well as enable Gerard to help readers keep fighting through Frank. 

 

Gerard had not smiled that wide in a long, long time. He excitedly pulled out his phone to call Mikey and tell him about his idea. It dampered Gerard’s mood slightly when Mikey didn’t pick up, but Gerard remained excited to get to work on his book. He quickly finished cleaning up the book store and locked up, then sang along to the radio the entire way back to his apartment. 

 

Gerard raced through the apartment to the desk in his room, almost worried that he would somehow lose or forget his idea. He tore out his notebook, pausing only to get out a piece of cinnamon gum, then began. He drew and wrote, pouring out his soul like a madman. At three in the morning, Gerard was too exhausted to continue. His drawings were definitely not perfect, not even close to the best he had done, but they were only a rough draft. Gerard had never been prouder. 

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Despite the fact that Gerard was plenty busy with his job and drawing Frank, he still felt incredibly alone. He hadn’t ever been separated from his brother for this long, and he was missing Mikey. While high school had definitely not been Gerard’s favorite years (a modest way of putting it), at least in high school he’d always had Mikey to back him up on things. Loneliness hit Gerard in waves. It was bad when he called Mikey and heard how happy Mikey was, even without Gerard. It was worse when Gerard was in the apartment by himself. 

 

Maybe he could call the cashier from the coffee shop. Dave was pretty cute and at the very least, he would make Gerard less lonely. Maybe Gerard could even get free coffee out of it if he was lucky. Gerard didn’t normally talk to people unless he had to, or Mikey made him, so it was harder than it should’ve been to call Dave, and even harder not to act awkward about it. 

 

Gerard took a deep breath and pulled out his phone. He tried to calm his nerves by telling himself it wasn’t such a big deal. He dialed the number that Dave had entered in his phone and waited for Dave to pick up.  

 

“Hey, Dave. This is Gerard. I don’t know if you remember me. I go to Coffee’s for Closers a lot. Like a lot. I know you probably don’t know who I am, but I was wondering if you maybe wanted to get a drink or something. Or not if you’re busy. Or if you’re not busy and you just don’t want to. That’s okay to, I’d completely understand-”

 

_ “I would love to, Gerard,” _ Dave interrupted.  _ “I’ll meet you at That Green Gentleman in an hour.” _

 

“Sounds good,” Gerard laughed nervously. He hadn’t been on a date since Andy and really didn’t want to screw it up. He hung up the phone and took a shower, trying his best to tame his long black hair. He really needed to dye it or something. 

 

Gerard picked out his favorite pair of black skinny jeans, and a tight, but not overly so, shirt. He looked in the mirror, deemed himself acceptable, and got into his car. 

 

Gerard had been to That Green Gentleman plenty of times. Far too many times than was healthy, but times had changed and Gerard barely went there anymore. The bar was exactly as Gerard had remembered it. It wasn’t the nicest place in town, but it wasn’t the dirtiest either, and the neon green sign had faded a little since Gerard was there last. 

 

Gerard parked his car and went inside the bar. A local band was playing; it was loud, and the music was terrible, but most people were too drunk to really care. Maybe if Gerard did karaoke, it would help them out a bit. 

 

Gerard sat at the bar, people watching for twenty minutes. Normally, Gerard loved people watching, it always gave him ideas for new comics, but this time he was pissed. 

 

Dave was late. 

 

Gerard should have known that he wouldn’t show up. No one ever did. Gerard should really stop trying. 

 

Gerard downed his second drink, with the barista watching him with a raised eye. Gerard shrugged at her, burped, and bought another. The music seemed to get even louder, and Gerard covered his ears to stop it from ringing in his head. “Fuck, they really do suck.” he muttered.

 

The barista rolled her eyes and moved on to another customer.

 

“Wait!” Gerard called after her. He asked her for another drink, and even though she advised against it, she  eventually gave in. Gerard had damn good puppy eyes. He swallowed the drink, the alcohol burning his throat, got another and started to walk towards the stage. The room was unfocused, and Gerard swayed a little as he walked.

 

Despite the fact that Gerard felt like barfing, his head was ringing, and his date still hadn’t shown up, Gerard was feeling better than he had in a long time; he didn’t feel alone. If he thought about it, it was a stupid because really he was more alone than ever. But Gerard wasn’t thinking at the moment. 

 

“You guys suck,” Gerard giggled, walking up to the lead singer of the local band, who was taking a water break. 

 

“Thanks,” the girl giggled back, flipping her dyed green hair. She was drunk too. “Fuck you. You’re the fucking worst.”

 

“I’m actually pretty fabulous,” Gerard drawled, his voice slurred.  

 

“Are you?” the girl asked, her eyes traveling across Gerard’s body before finally stopping on his face. She seemed pleased. “Well then, show me just how fabulous you are.”

 

Gerard smiled and burped. He interpreted the girl’s request as asking him to come on stage, so that was what he did. Gerard took the microphone and started to sing Shake it Off because in all honesty, he loved Taylor Swift. Gerard was a really good singer, but this was definitely not his best performance.  His voice was slurred, and when he tried to reach the high notes, Gerard would burp and giggle. As Gerard finished the last chorus of the song he struck a pose with both hands in the air and his hip to the side; it was one of Gerard’s sassier posses. After Gerard finished, his head started to spin and he threw up on the girl.  

 

“Get off!” she shrieked and pushed Gerard off the stage.

 

“Oww,” Gerard complained, “that hurt!” Gerard’s head was spinning wildly, from the alcohol and his anxiety from the crowd, so he went outside to the alley out back to get some air. Gerard took in a deep breath of the cool air, his head hurting a little less. 

 

“Gerard!” a voice exclaimed. Gerard felt a hand grab his shoulder and turned to face Dave. Well, he decided to show up after all. 

 

“Hey Dave,” Gerard said snarkily, turning around. “Nice of you to show up.”

 

“I’m sorry, Gee!”

 

“Don’t call me that,” Gerard said nastily. No one got to call him that except for Mikey, especially not a guy who hadn’t bothered to call Gerard to tell him he was going to be two hours late. 

 

Gerard was hurt, but not surprised. He was surprised that a guy like Dave had shown up at all, or even shown any interest in Gerard. Dave definitely wouldn’t end up as Gerard’s boyfriend, heck he probably wouldn’t even end up being Gerard’s friend, but Gerard was sick. He was sick of feeling lonely, and he was sick of always being the person people would be fine with being late on a date with. 

 

Dave looked down at Gerard. Gerard wished he was taller than somebody for once. “Look, Gerard, I don’t want anything serious. I’m just looking for a good time here.” Dave grinned at Gerard, and something seemed off but Gerard tried to ignore that. Instead of thinking, he looked up at Dave through his lashes, and gave him a somewhat sloppy kiss. Dave returned the kiss just as languidly, tasting like alcohol. He pulled away from Dave to yell at him some more for being late, but before he could get very far, Dave pressed him into the alley wall, back into another kiss, much more urgent than the last.Gerard soon forgot about what he was going to say as Dave slipped his tongue inside Gerard’s mouth, moaning as he did so. Dave was a good kisser, a little more sloppy than Gerard normally liked, but as the kiss continued to deepen, Gerard numbly felt himself try to pull away. He felt sick and needed to go home, and something was feeling really off about Dave.

 

“No, babe,” Dave mumbled, trying to get Gerard to kiss him again, but Gerard squirmed away from his grasp. 

 

“I think I’m going to head home now,” Gerard told Dave quietly, but attempting to be firm.

 

“Good,” Dave said, winking, and apparently thinking that Gerard wanted him to come.

 

“No. By myself.” Gerard said, getting anxious. This was precisely why he didn’t go out often. He hated disappointing people and his anxiety was steadily increasing. Gerard started backing down the alley way, trying to escape.

 

“I don’t want you to leave,” Dave said, suddenly angry, grabbing Gerard’s arm and pinning him against the wall again. 

 

Gerard tried to twist out of his grasp but Dave’s hold was too tight. “Hey, cut it out!” Gerard exclaimed, panicking. “What’s wrong with you?”

 

“I don’t want you to leave,” Dave repeated in a dangerous growl, his nails pressing painfully into Gerard’s wrist. 

 

Gerard looked desperately around for someone to help him, but the alley was empty.

 

“No one’s coming,” Dave said, grinning.

 

“Fuck you,” Gerard said, attempting to sound scary, but coming off as frightened. 

 

“No, I don’t think so. I think you’ve lost your chance.” said Dave, reaching for something in his pocket. Gerard really,  _ really _ hoped it wasn’t a knife.

 

Oh  _ fuck _ . 

 

Of course it was a knife. Gerard was shaking so hard that he was surprised he hadn’t fainted yet. Gerard really wished that he had at least gone out in a better way. Like with explosions and stuff. Gerard loved explosions.  

 

“Let go of him!” a voice suddenly exclaimed. 

 

Gerard looked in the direction of the voice and saw a young man wearing a security uniform approaching. Dave must have recognized the man because as soon as he saw him, Dave sprinted in the opposite direction. Gerard slumped to the alley floor. 

 

The other man tried to run after Dave, but Dave was surprisingly fast and got too much of a head start. Eventually, the other man returned to Gerard, who was still releasing shaky breaths. Gerard was surprised to see that man’s features as he approached; the man was one of the least threatening people Gerard had ever seen. The man was tall, sure, but he was skinny as fuck, and had long, pretty curls. He was the most girlish looking dude Gerard had ever seen; Gerard almost rolled his eyes. That kid should be picking daisies in a field while singing the Sound of Music, not in a dark alley way in the back of a bar.

 

Gerard released a shaky breath, and allowed the man to help him up from the alley floor. “Thank you so much.” He told the mysterious daisy-man.

 

“Oh, it’s no problem. I’m sorry you had to deal with that bastard. I recognized him as soon as I saw him; he’s been harassing a lot of people lately.”  The daisy-man shook his head in disbelief. “We’ve been trying to catch him, but well,” he shrugged, looking in the direction Dave had ran, “he’s fucking fast!”

 

Gerard nodded, still shocked, trying to process the man’s fast talking. 

 

“Oh, I’m sorry!” said the man who couldn’t seem to stop talking. “I’m Ryan. Ryan Ross.”

 

“I’m Gerard.”

 

“Nice to meet you,” Ryan said, beaming. “I’ll call a cab to take you home, just give me a second.”

 

“Okay, thanks,” Gerard said, gratefully, “Hey, if you need any information on Dave, just contact me.”

 

Ryan thanked Gerard profusely, entering his number into Gerard’s phone before calling a cab. 

 

When the cab arrived Gerard felt guilty for leaving Ryan. He really didn’t seem to belong there. Gerard wondered if the kid was even eighteen yet. “Hey, stay safe, Ryan.”

 

“Who’s the security officer here?” Ryan joked, but smiled a little shakily. “You too, Gerard.” 

 

Gerard smiled sadly at Ryan and waved goodbye. 

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Though only hours ago Gerard had been attacked by a psycho in an alleyway, he still slept like a rock that night. In fact, Gerard may have never woken up he was so exhausted, if it weren’t for a loud buzzing sound coming from beside his head. “Piss off, Mikey.” Gerard grumbled, trying to go to sleep. The buzzing continued. “Cut it out! I’m trying to sleep!” Gerard realized that the sound wasn’t going away so he opened his eyes to yell at Mikey before realizing that Mikey wasn’t going to be there. The buzzing was coming from his phone from an unknown number. 

 

Sleepily, Gerard reached for his phone, answering with a tired, “hello?”

 

“ _ Gerard Way? _ ” a young man’s voice asked.

 

Gerard hesitated, nervous from the night before. “Yes.” he decided to say.

 

“ _ This is Ray. _ ” 

 

Gerard frowned, relieved it didn’t have anything to do with Dave but unsure of why Ray would be calling him. “Hey, Ray. I hope you and Mikey are having a g-”

 

“ _ Mikey got shot. _ ” Ray interrupted.

 

“What?” Gerard shot out of bed, sure he misheard. Gerard’s blood started pounding and he couldn’t hear what Ray was saying. All he could think of was that he had lost his brother just like he had lost his parents. 

 

“ _ Gerard! _ ” Ray repeated. “ _ He’ll be okay, he was shot in the leg. _ ” 

 

Gerard felt a slight weight lift off of his shoulder. The black spots in his vision started to clear a little, though his heart still raced. “How did it happen?” he asked, his voice low and shaking.

 

“Last night, he was going to the grocery store and got attacked. He can’t remember much of it, but he said that the man had long blond hair and was pretty tall.” Gerard froze. The man Mikey had described looked exactly how Dave had looked. Gerard tried to tell himself that it was just a coincidence, but he couldn’t stop his breathing from speeding up alarmingly.

 

“ _ Hey, Gerard, he’ll be okay, he told me to tell you not to worry. _ ” Ray said, his tone sounding worried.

 

Gerard frowned. Mikey was the one in the hospital! Gerard should be the one comforting him, not the other way around. “I’ll be there as soon as I can. What hospital is he at?”

 

“ _ Mikey says that he doesn’t need you to come because he’s fi- _ ”

 

“Tell me where he is.” Gerard said angrily. “I’m coming whether he fucking wants me to or not.”

 

Ray, who had always been slightly frightened by Mikey’s older brother, told him the information on which hospital Mikey was at. 

 

Gerard sat at his desk, his leg bouncing up and down, and couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that both he and Mikey had been attacked on the same night by someone who looked exactly like Dave. It had to be just an unlucky coincidence, right?

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey you, you wonderful human being, i thought you ought to know that there was a scientific study that showed that chapters appear faster when you comment ;)


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